Thank You for Being With

All of my life, I have heard people say a particular request in prayer that undoubtedly shaped my thinking and understanding of God.

We do what we know and what we have heard and what we have seen and what we have been taught.

Sometimes things are overtly taught to us and sometimes they are simply modeled again and again and again. 

But these things become ours, they become a part of our understanding, a part of our thinking, they teach us how to navigate our relationship with the Holy, they teach us what a relationship with the Holy may look like. 

“…and God, please be with so-so during such-such…” 

Please be with. 

A sincere request on behalf of another for God to be with the person we identify as in need. A petition, a plea, an action; something we can do for someone when in a situation, which we often feel helpless.

After years of hearing this request, though, it began to strike me as odd and I began to question its value:

            Why are we asking God to be with?             
            Do we not believe that God is always with?

In my questioning and pondering, I began to wonder if we were looking from the wrong direction, approaching God from the wrong direction. 

Psalm 46 is a most comforting Psalm. It was written as a song to be sung by women. We focus most often on verse 10, “Be still and know that I am God”. 

In April of 2022, I found myself sitting by a pond at a silent retreat. I sat there for quite some time, resting in the stillness of the day, becoming a part of it and being still myself, knowing God and being filled with His presence. 

I had my Bible with me and was meditating over and over on Psalm 46:10. Wanting to stretch deeper, I went back and read the whole Psalm over and over. As I read, some notes in the margin caught my eye. 

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
            (very present, or abundantly available)

Abundantly available. 

Abundantly available. 

These words repeated themselves within me over and over. I sat and meditated, abundantly available, abundantly available. 

He wasn’t just available, but abundantly so. 

As I sat and meditated and thought on these things, it became clear to me that I had in fact been looking at things from the wrong direction. 

This simple request that I had heard (and said) all of my life, this request that had undoubtedly shaped my belief and understanding. This request that God be with me or that God be with so-so, was in all reality, moot. 

I believed that in being in relationship with the Holy, I needed to ask for God to draw near to me, when in fact, it was I who needed to draw near to the Holy. 

He already was with, and not just a little bit, but abundantly so. In other words, I was asking for something that already was, something I already had. 

I realized my prayer and perspective needed to change. 

“…and God, please help so-so to stay with you during such-such. Help them to understand that not only are you available, but that you are abundantly so.” 

This small shift in understanding, has changed a great many things in my relating to the Holy. 

In requesting God be with so-so during such-such, I realized that this was always associated with a degree of fear and/or anxiety. What if he wasn’t with? Understanding the truth, that he was already abundantly available, allowed me to let go of that fear and anxiety. 

In requesting God be with so-so during such-such, I realized I was viewing God as optional. He may or may not be present. 

In requesting God be with so-so during such-such, I realized I was putting myself in control. I wasn’t in relationship, I didn’t commune. I checked in when and if I wanted. 

In requesting God be with so-so during such-such, I realized that I was missing out on the true depth of our relationship. 

The thing about rote phrases is that they often don’t really mean what we actually say. When people hear this often quoted request they understand the heart of the praying person and appreciate the sincerity and grace with which it is petitioned. 

But the other thing about rote phrases is that rather we mean what we actually say or not, we still hear what we actually say and it affects who we are and who we become. 

If I want to live with the Holy, I have to know and understand and live within the truth, that he is abundantly available to me.