Preparing for Lent

In preparation for this year's season of Lent, I have spent some time reflecting on the three traditional practices or pillars that make up this time: fasting, almsgiving, and prayer. 

In many traditions, today will conclude the pre-Lenten time period. It is often called Mardi Gras, Carnival, or Shrove Tuesday. Some see today as their last opportunity for merry-making. But the true importance of this day is to ponder what Lenten sacrifices that one feels called to make. 

In preparing and examining myself, I have leaned on the questions posed by Tsh Oxenreider in her book Bitter and Sweet: 

1. Have I become overly dependent on a particular sustenance, substance, or practice lately? 

2. Which appetites have a unique grip on my body or soul these days? 

3. What would be a genuinely challenging (but not burdensome) fast? 

4. What would be truly freeing to leave behind?

5. What do I sense God calling me to?

Each individual who chooses to participate in Lent needs to examine what will be a true sacrifice for them. This is a spiritually motivated sacrifice that requires strength to maintain. Strength is found by relying on the Holy through prayer and surrender. It is this daily process of prayer and surrender that helps us to go deeper and grow deeper with the Holy. 

Sometimes a fasting sacrifice is an act of omission (abstinence) but it can also be an act of commission (spiritual discipline). The ways in which to self-surrender and self-sacrifice are innumerable. No matter the chosen sacrifice, the purpose is to lean into the Holy. 

Almsgiving is also an act of sacrifice, but it is an act of sacrifice through the act of giving. An act of giving can be achieved through various means: money, time, food, donated items. Oxenreider suggests connecting your fast with your almsgiving. So, for example, if you are fasting from various foods and have a surplus in your grocery budget, you may practice almsgiving by buying food for a needy family or almsgive  your time by volunteering as a food pantry or food kitchen.   

Prayer is the act of communing with the Holy. It is the act of both giving and receiving, talking and listening. Intentional prayer during Lent is committing to spending time every day with the Holy. Time listening through reading scripture, contemplation. Time talking by being your whole self with the Holy. 

Lent is an excellent opportunity for spiritual growth. It is the act of setting some time apart to rely on the Holy and to deepen your relationship. It is a time of self-sacrifice to remember the great sacrifice of Christ. It is a time that ends with profound rejoicing as we gather on Easter Sunday and commemorate the resurrection. 

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5

Lencten with the Holy

40. 

Examples within the Bible of a 40 day or 40 year period occur time and time again.

From a Biblical perspective, the number 40 symbolizes purification, transformation, new life, and spiritual growth.

It can also represent a period of testing or trial for the purpose of growing spiritually.

Purposefully entering into trying circumstances for 40 days allows one the opportunity to intentionally rely on the Holy for help and strength.

This was modeled for us by Jesus in Matthew 4, when he entered the wilderness and fasted for 40 days. After fasting those 40 days, he was tempted by the adversary. Despite being hungry, he was able to withstand and overcome all three temptations. We read that when the temptation was over, the adversary left him and the angels came and attended him.

Often, we read of fasting as a precursor to struggle. Moses, David, Esther, Nehemiah, Daniel, Jesus, Paul and Barnabas. There are many many examples of people fasting for strength, courage, and renewal.

The term Lencten is an old English word that means Spring Season.

For many years, I believed my favorite season was fall. I love the colors changing about me and the comfort of cold days shrouded in the warmth of friends and family. It is no doubt a special time of year.

But as time and life have passed, I have come to realize that while I enjoy fall, I need spring. It brings about the re-emergence of green grass and life. Spring allows me to breathe deeply again, to feel the sun on my face, to feel part of the world and no longer apart from it. Spring to me is the manifestation of hope, hope that felt lost with the settling of winter.

Lent is the shortened term of Lencten. It still means the spring season.

The liturgical calendar has identified Lent as a time to commemorate the 40 days that Jesus spent fasting in the desert. This practice is observed by numerous traditions within Christianity: Anglican, Eastern Orthodox, Lutheran, Methodist, Moravian, Oriental Orthodox, church of the East, United Protestant, Roman Catholic, and some Anabaptist, Baptist, Reformed, Presbyterian, and other nondenominational churches.

Traditionally, Lent begins on Wednesday and with the 40 days ending on the Thursday before Easter. Some refer to this day as Maundy Thursday. Many beautiful things happened on Maundy Thursday: Jesus washed the disciples feet, the last supper occurred, the final discourse was given, but this was also the night that Jesus was arrested in the garden after being kissed by his friend.

And so, the Lenten time of fasting ends on the anniversary of Jesus arrest.

The tradition with which I have grown up in has not practiced Lent. As a community we have not engaged together in a 40 day fast.

The last few years I have toyed with the idea of Lent and given up a few things.

But this year, I am moved to dig deep into the experience of true fasting, true sacrifice. I want to engage in intentionally leaning into the Holy. I want to awake on Easter Sunday and truly rejoice in a strengthened relationship with the Holy.

Thank You for Being With

All of my life, I have heard people say a particular request in prayer that undoubtedly shaped my thinking and understanding of God.

We do what we know and what we have heard and what we have seen and what we have been taught.

Sometimes things are overtly taught to us and sometimes they are simply modeled again and again and again. 

But these things become ours, they become a part of our understanding, a part of our thinking, they teach us how to navigate our relationship with the Holy, they teach us what a relationship with the Holy may look like. 

“…and God, please be with so-so during such-such…” 

Please be with. 

A sincere request on behalf of another for God to be with the person we identify as in need. A petition, a plea, an action; something we can do for someone when in a situation, which we often feel helpless.

After years of hearing this request, though, it began to strike me as odd and I began to question its value:

            Why are we asking God to be with?             
            Do we not believe that God is always with?

In my questioning and pondering, I began to wonder if we were looking from the wrong direction, approaching God from the wrong direction. 

Psalm 46 is a most comforting Psalm. It was written as a song to be sung by women. We focus most often on verse 10, “Be still and know that I am God”. 

In April of 2022, I found myself sitting by a pond at a silent retreat. I sat there for quite some time, resting in the stillness of the day, becoming a part of it and being still myself, knowing God and being filled with His presence. 

I had my Bible with me and was meditating over and over on Psalm 46:10. Wanting to stretch deeper, I went back and read the whole Psalm over and over. As I read, some notes in the margin caught my eye. 

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
            (very present, or abundantly available)

Abundantly available. 

Abundantly available. 

These words repeated themselves within me over and over. I sat and meditated, abundantly available, abundantly available. 

He wasn’t just available, but abundantly so. 

As I sat and meditated and thought on these things, it became clear to me that I had in fact been looking at things from the wrong direction. 

This simple request that I had heard (and said) all of my life, this request that had undoubtedly shaped my belief and understanding. This request that God be with me or that God be with so-so, was in all reality, moot. 

I believed that in being in relationship with the Holy, I needed to ask for God to draw near to me, when in fact, it was I who needed to draw near to the Holy. 

He already was with, and not just a little bit, but abundantly so. In other words, I was asking for something that already was, something I already had. 

I realized my prayer and perspective needed to change. 

“…and God, please help so-so to stay with you during such-such. Help them to understand that not only are you available, but that you are abundantly so.” 

This small shift in understanding, has changed a great many things in my relating to the Holy. 

In requesting God be with so-so during such-such, I realized that this was always associated with a degree of fear and/or anxiety. What if he wasn’t with? Understanding the truth, that he was already abundantly available, allowed me to let go of that fear and anxiety. 

In requesting God be with so-so during such-such, I realized I was viewing God as optional. He may or may not be present. 

In requesting God be with so-so during such-such, I realized I was putting myself in control. I wasn’t in relationship, I didn’t commune. I checked in when and if I wanted. 

In requesting God be with so-so during such-such, I realized that I was missing out on the true depth of our relationship. 

The thing about rote phrases is that they often don’t really mean what we actually say. When people hear this often quoted request they understand the heart of the praying person and appreciate the sincerity and grace with which it is petitioned. 

But the other thing about rote phrases is that rather we mean what we actually say or not, we still hear what we actually say and it affects who we are and who we become. 

If I want to live with the Holy, I have to know and understand and live within the truth, that he is abundantly available to me.

Every Moment.

Dog barks, jumps off the bed, goes to the back door. Whines to go out. 

I roll over, look at the clock. It’s too early. I continued to lie. 

In time, I get up. Start the shower. Let the dogs out. Set out their food. Shower. Dress. Make coffee. Set out my own food. Listen to the morning news and eat. 

I put the dogs up. Put my dishes away. Grab my work bag and keys. Walk out to the car. 

Start the car. Drive to work. Park in the parking garage. Walk down three flights of stairs. Walk to the hospital. Ride the elevator up four flights. Walk to the office. Sit down at the computer. 

Actions. Movements. Breaths. Heart beats. Time. Moments. 

I’ve always loved the passage in Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These 

commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (NIV)

I did not know though, for a long time, that this passage was part of the Shema. The Shema is a Jewish prayer that was recited in the morning and in the evening. It was their statement of faith and to affirm God’s kingship. 

The Shema encapsulates the idea of every moment holy; it defines the idea that God is personal and demands love from His people with every aspect of their being.

So, whether I am laying in bed, driving to work, eating, walking my dogs, talking with a friend, watching television, voting, shopping, paying bills, listening to music, it is all an aspect of my being. In all of these moments I am to love God. 

We read in Colossians 3:17, And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (NRSV)

Every moment is Holy, because every moment is with God. 

the Holy

A few years ago I was asked to teach a class. 

This request is usually followed by a question: What do you want to teach on?

I suppose it is this second question that always gets me excited. My mind starts turning and marinating and I entertain various possibilities. I usually land on something I have been called to teach on or something I think I am just overly ignorant of and simply want to learn more about. 

So, all of this thinking landing on the topic of the Holy Spirit. 

Growing up I knew of the Holy Spirit. I knew of the Biblical passages where the Spirit was mentioned and passages where characteristics of the Spirit were discussed. But when it really came down to it, I did not really know much of the Holy Spirit. 

I remember a time many years before, in which there was a discussion about whether it was right or not to worship the Holy Spirit. Initially, I felt very confused by this discussion. I didn't know. I knew a lot about God and about Jesus, but the Holy Spirit was more of an anomaly. I simply didn't know what to do with the Holy Spirit. 

So, all these many years later, I realized I was in very much the same place. I still simply didn't  know what to do with the Holy Spirit. 

So, I studied and read and learned. I read very conservative ideas, moderate ideas, and very charismatic ideas. I read books and commentaries. I read scripture and various theologians. I sat with a lot of information. I was overwhelmed and at times confused. I sat a lot in the Final Discourse of John. 

Eventually a class emerged and I felt more confident in my knowledge, but profoundly aware of my lack of relationship. 

Throughout my study I realized how much I looked at God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit separately. Yet, the more I read and studied about the Holy Spirit, I began to understand the profound importance of the trinity. I realized that my lack of understanding of the Holy Spirit had restricted my understanding of God and of Jesus, had restricted my ability to have a relationship with the trinity, and had minimized my own spirituality. 

I began to realized that my relationship with God was limited to only seeing God the Father, and Jesus the Son. I had made no space for the Holy Spirit. 

In understanding these things, I realized I needed to make space in my life to relate with and to the Holy Spirit. I realized I needed to more fully worship the Holy Spirit just as I did God and Jesus. I realized that I needed to worship God as the trinity. 

When I hear the word God, I really only think of God the Father. I realized I did not have language for the trinity. I did not use language that directed my mind and thoughts to worship of the trinity and that all my thoughts were separated to the three distinct persons. 

Understanding the need for change and the need for language was crucial in my spiritual path forward to a deeper relationship. So, I landed on the idea of the Holy. It acknowledges each of the trinity, God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit, while making space to acknowledge all three at the same time. 

Language is important. It works to direct our thoughts, our paradigms, our life. Changing my language has allowed space for a healthier spiritual life and relationship. Changing my language has changed my life. 

Living

Praying

Worshipping

Working

Dreaming

Desiring

Learning

Growing

Talking

Studying

Eating

Thinking

Sleeping

Walking

            with the Holy. 

With

With. The dictionary defines the word with as accompanied by or accompanying. 

 

For a long time I haven't understood the idea of with. 

I understood the idea of being responsible, of being good, of being dependable. 

I understood what it meant to show up and work, to follow the rules, to be held accountable, to be dependable. 

I understood the idea of doing something for God, of being something for God. 

None of these ideas or concepts are bad. They are all filled with good intention, with a desire to strive, to prove, to work, to honor, to serve, and to encourage. And it was all done for God. 

The thing that I didn't understand then, that I understand now, is that while I thought my focus was on God, it was really on me. I was focused on what I could do for God. How I could work to serve God. How I could be good for God. Ways I could encourage others for God. 

The focus, the goal was good. But the route, the path, the understanding wasn't right. 

I was doing all of these things for God. 

But, the invitation is to do all of these things with God. 

When we do things for God, we think about how good we are because of what we have done. Over time we can easily can become enamored with ourselves and even become spiritually arrogant. We pride ourselves in our actions and whether we mean for it or not we have unintentionally served ourselves and not God.

The motivation of doing for takes God out of the equation and the only thing left is me. 

I didn't understand this for a long time. 

So, I worked and I did and I strove and encouraged and proved and read and focused all of myself on being for God. Over time, I felt that because I did things for God that He should love me, honor me, be proud of me. 

But this kind of relationship is not one of love or respect, it is one of indebtedness and bargaining. If I do this, then I will get that. 

What I found was that it was empty, lonely, and unfulfilling. 

With: to accompany. 

With: accompanied by. 

With: relationship. 

When I changed my thoughts, my prayers, my perspective and started thinking about doing things with God, serving with God, being with God, then my whole world changed. 

I was no longer working for alone, I was working with. 

The focus was off of me and on us. 

The honor and glory and love wasn't on me, it was on the relationship I was given. 

It is never wrong to do things for God, it just isn't the way it was meant to be. He did not call us to work for Him. He called us to work with Him, in relationship. 

I am not a master of the English language. I do not always understand prepositions and participles and suppositions and other like things. But I love words and respect the power they have within. And I know that shifting my whole focus from living for God to living with God has changed my life. 

It changed my life by teaching me about relationship, about surrender, about freedom, about love. 

I'm learning to live life WITH THE HOLY. Won't you join me?